| Finding Balance | | Hey Everyone,
New to the site and was hoping to get some positive feedback. I have studied TKD for approx. 7 years and am taking a short break to study a form of Ju-Jitsu. I also work full time and am also a student. I am having trouble finding a work/life balance. I suffer from ADHD so I have a hard time focusing on what is important to me or what I should put first in my life. I am very ambitious and want to be professionally successful but in no way do I want to give up my training because I feel like it has helped me through a lot of hurdles in my life. I am planning on taking up TKD again after the 1st of the year and am even more worried about the balance. Also, because of my condition I have trouble letting go of that "warrior" mindset when I leave the dojo and tend to carry it with me all the time which I feel could hurt me professionally.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
P.S. |
| | G'day Paul and welcome..
I commuted to various parts of Sydney for work for the last ~10 years and for a few of those I was also a student while still trying to train consistently at Hapkido. It is a very difficult thing to try and find the right balance, especially when you don't get a choice about how much time you're spending on some aspects of your life...
I think it is important to set yourself a bit of a plan and stick to it as best you can. Make sure that if you don't meet your plan that is is because of circumstances you can't control. For example in your plan say that Mondays and Saturdays are your must train days. Do everything you can to make sure you get to training on those days. Any extra days you find time for training is a bonus.
Make sure you make good use of any available time you have. For example if you catch the train to and from work every day, use that time to catch up on your study for your course or something else practical. Just don't waste it.
The other thing is to try and get a bit of flexibility out of your employer. If you can't make it to training on a particular day try and negotiate to start early and finish early on that day. Most employers will be pretty flexible (depending on your line of work of course) and if you give them something they will be happy to give something back (especially if it doesn't involve money).
As far as the warrior mindset goes, perhaps a bit meditation could help. Clear your mind of the things that have happened and relax as much as you can (even while training). Maybe even look at your training in a different light all together - Something along the lines of "learning to understand the body, movement, reactions etc all a bit better" instead of "how can I punch and kick harder and faster than the other guy"... I got a bit philosophical there I think.
Now something completely off topic.... Can I take a wild guess in saying that you're into photography? Now slightly more bruised than before. |
| | Hi Paul,
I dont do any martial arts, I just hang around here to make the place look good. But I am an extremely busy person. I own a very busy web site, I have a daughter, I spend a lot of time commuting, a lot of time at work and the rest maintaining a fairly large reef aquarium. Basically, you need to do what you enjoy. You will likely need to sacrifice certain things, for example, you cannot expect to work full time, study AND have a decent amount of time left to train. It doesn't work that way. To be profesionally successful you need to commit to your career, you cant do that when you are being torn by your study. Maybe don't try to extend your career until you have finished studying? Or, quit study and focus on your work, but dont expect to be able to do everything at once.
Time is precious and *nothing* is permanent. Make a change and see how it feels, if its wrong for you, try something else. I think blaming ADHD is simply passing the buck. I was diagnosed with this at a younger age and have since decided that it is a name for being easily distracted in an overly distracting world. Distractions are good, if you cant stay on topic then dont, encourage that and you will likely pick up a lot of beneficial information. (Look at me and my multiple direction changes in this post, its just the way I am.. ) 
Christian
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I dont get swine flu. Swine flu gets me.
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| | Originally posted by Michael Little G'day Paul and welcome..
I commuted to various parts of Sydney for work for the last ~10 years and for a few of those I was also a student while still trying to train consistently at Hapkido. It is a very difficult thing to try and find the right balance, especially when you don't get a choice about how much time you're spending on some aspects of your life...
I think it is important to set yourself a bit of a plan and stick to it as best you can. Make sure that if you don't meet your plan that is is because of circumstances you can't control. For example in your plan say that Mondays and Saturdays are your must train days. Do everything you can to make sure you get to training on those days. Any extra days you find time for training is a bonus.
Make sure you make good use of any available time you have. For example if you catch the train to and from work every day, use that time to catch up on your study for your course or something else practical. Just don't waste it.
The other thing is to try and get a bit of flexibility out of your employer. If you can't make it to training on a particular day try and negotiate to start early and finish early on that day. Most employers will be pretty flexible (depending on your line of work of course) and if you give them something they will be happy to give something back (especially if it doesn't involve money).
As far as the warrior mindset goes, perhaps a bit meditation could help. Clear your mind of the things that have happened and relax as much as you can (even while training). Maybe even look at your training in a different light all together - Something along the lines of "learning to understand the body, movement, reactions etc all a bit better" instead of "how can I punch and kick harder and faster than the other guy"... I got a bit philosophical there I think.
Now something completely off topic.... Can I take a wild guess in saying that you're into photography?
I actually work in IT for the time being but working towards a law degree. ( to answer the photo...question...) I do have a flexable employer, and only attend school classes twice a week which leaves me plenty of time for training. I tend to get really tied up in my hobbies and/or passions and find myself putting work 2nd or 3rd down on the list. My job is very demanding and the hours can sometimes take their toll on me. I also hit the gym 6 times a week, cardio and so forth - mainly to help my out of control anxiety. I ask myself everyday "what do I put first, how can I manage my time better?" Believe me, its a constant battle with myself. The only good thing about the axiety is that I am so headstrong that I can train past the point of exhaustion and not even realize it...or maybe thats a bad thing...oh well...back to the homework. |
| | You could start off small, for example one day a week of training, then build up if you feel like you have the time. Remember there is no rush, and most instructors won't push you to do more training. Martial arts will help bring balance into your life and it does help you focus.. I have found through teaching that martial arts does help ADHD students elsewhere outside of class even if they don't realise it.. I do believe that martial arts is a great stress relief and helps with anger issues and fustrations that get you you during the week. Martial arts teaches control and i wouldn't be conserned about it hurting you professionally but it making a difference in how you could conduct yourself much more professionally. |
| | I think the fact that you are constantly thinking about managing your time better and improving is a good thing. Perhaps it's a matter of setting yourself some short term goals and sticking to them... Now slightly more bruised than before. |
Scott, Tactical Zen Self Defence Systems | | Hi Paul,
(sorry for the late post), just regarding the "warrior mindset";
this is something that helped me put into perspective the Warrior Mindset:
Whilst I was overseas with a knife-combat and close-quarters combat course, there was some discussion between some tactical-operators who, because of their work must apply the Warrior Mindset in real life.
It was said that the SAS have what they call a "switch". This "Switch" was described as something which they can turn ON and OFF at a moment's notice. For example one of them can be sitting there having a chat with friends and the next second they can flip the "switch" into Warrior Mindset (obviously based on their threat-assessment of a situation).
In other words, just because someone is trained with a certain skill-set does not mean that they have to be "on" all the time.
Someone can reasonably switch on to a Warrior Mindset in direct response to a certain situation, but unless it's necessary it's more appropriate to just behave like a normal person (this does not mean you ever have to lower your tactical-awareness guard).
I hope this helps put the Warrior Mindset into perspective.
(By the way, I am not a tactical operator, I am only a humble Martial Artist who sometimes has wonderful opportunities to attend courses etc in different parts of the world with such people).
with respect,
Scott Cheasley
Tactical Zen Self Defence Systems.
www.TacticalZen.com |
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